Slow Down! So you can SPEED UP!

I was talking with a friend about golf while driving back from a fun weekend at a daddy/daughter camp.  I am not a golfer and I don't find any enjoyment on the golf course mainly because I am SO bad.  I have not made the attempt to adopt a "growth mindset" with golf.  Why am I so bad?  Well, we could probably list 150 reasons but one big one is that I try to swing too hard.  More than one person has told me that you shouldn't swing the club hard if you want to be good.  A good steady swing is all you need and let the club determine the distance.  When I swing hard, the ball goes everywhere except straight.  Which means par for me is losing 1 ball per hole (I'm not kidding).  It takes me a long time to get from tee to the cup.  Maybe if I didn't swing so hard I could play better.

Similarly, as I watch stock car racing, I often hear the announcer or spotter tell the driver to ease into the corner instead of driving into the corner so hard.  Sometimes it is in the effort to use less gas to extend their mileage.  This adjustment often results in faster lap times.  So, driving smoother, letting off the gas, and using less braking can result in faster laps.

I know when I do go-kart racing I see this first hand.  If I go full speed into the turns, I end up losing control or being passed by people that are driving more smoothly.

So, in what areas of my life am I "swinging too hard or driving into the corners at full speed, just to end up slamming on my brakes?" Could this tie into micro-managing and frustrsting my team?  How about pushing too hard with fitness and getting injured?  Parenting?  How about even in my faith?

The tough part, for me, is knowing where the line is between pushing enough and pushing too much. If you don't push enough, you leave results "on the table" and don't reach your potential.  If you push too hard, you may get good results today but at the cost of poor long term results.

I think the key is being aware that the line exists and looking for indications that you are approaching it.  Watch your "laptimes" as you push harder.  Listen for indications from your team, spouse or children.

So far, it seems that the best I can do is to be aware that the line exists and be alert to indications that I am approaching it.

Olympic Training: Life or Death Motivation

One of the few Olympic sports that uses judges to determine scores that I enjoy watching is gymnastics.  The process of determing a winner still frustrates me but those gymnasts are amazing athletes.  What guy wouldn't love to snap his fingers and have the muscles that the olympic guys have?  To be able to do what they do on the rings is amazing.  But, this isn't about one of the guys.  It is about one of the women.  Yes, I said "women", not girls.  Most Olympic "women" are 16-21 years old and they are pretty old at 25.  But, there was one woman that was representing Germany that was 37 years old.

Oksana Chusovitina is the only female gymnast to compete in 6 Olympics and she began performing internationally in 1989.  Many of the girls she was competing against this year weren't even born at that time.  What has motivated Oksana to continue so long in a sport ruled by teenagers and 20 year olds?

Well, in 2002 her son was diagnosed with Acute Lymphocytic Leukemia and the best option for his survival was for Oksana and her family to move to Germany where he could be treated.  Oksana depended on prize money and relationships in gymnastics to help fund the treatment.  Her son's life depended on her not just doing gymnastics, but doing it well enough to win. 

What do you do for a living?  Could you do it better if your son's life depended on you being the best?  Truett Cathy, the founder of Chick-fil-A, often asks if we are giving our best effort and if we aren't he asks, "why not... why not.... why not?"  Does it take a life and death situation to motivate us to do our best?  Should it?

Colossians 3:17 - And whatever you do, whether in word or deed, do it all in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through him.

Colossians 3:23 - Whatever you do, work at it with all your heart, as working for the Lord, not for men,

Matthew 5:16 - In the same way, let your light shine before others, that they may see your good deeds and glorify your Father in heaven.
       

   

Olympic Training: Gold Medal Leadership

I love watching the Olympics!  Not because I like all the "sports" (ping pong, trampoline and horse dancing?  But that is another blog of some sort).  I like hearing the stories of how the Olympians got to the level they are at. This often includes overcoming personal challenges as well as intense training.  Sometimes the story is just as much about the coach, parent or mentor.

One story was about Michael Phelps.  We've seen him win just about every event in the pool.  We've seen him on Wheaties boxes and endorsing all sorts of stuff.  We've seen him interviewed by everybody.  But, how did he become the dominant swimmer he has been?

Of course, his training included lots of weights, a proper diet, practicing specific techniques, etc.  His coach also pushed him in other ways.  When Phelps was swimming his coach took his goggles and stepped on them so they wouldn't keep water out and made Phelps continue swimming with water filled goggles.  I bet Phelps didn't like that.  I bet he wasn't happy with his coach at that moment.  But, during a swimming final in the Olympics Phelps had his goggles come lose and allow water in.  I'm far from an Olympic swimmer but I imagine having your goggles fill with water can be a bit distracting and these swimmers separate themselves by thousandths of a second.  Phelps showed no sign of problem during the race but when he finished you could see him take his goggles off and water empty from them.  Oh, and he won by a fraction of a second.

His coach had prepared him to overcome challenges not just by training him to be the most fit and having the best technique.  His coach forced Phelps to encounter challenges and learn to overcome them.

As a leader, are you preparing those around you to overcome adversity or do you seek to prevent them from encountering it?  Do you care enough about your team to step on their goggles?

Proverbs 27:17 - As iron sharpens iron, so one man sharpens another.

Honey Bees

Want to accomplish your objective?  Here are 3 bees that will help.

Bee Early

Get started before everybody else.  Show respect to others by ensuring they won't have to wait on you.  Get ahead of the game.

Bee Fast

Don't waste time.  Take action.  Turn the idea into a behavior.  Get their quicker than everybody else.

Bee Intentional    

Do what matters.  Do it right.  Do it the best you can.

Then your results will be as sweet as honey!

Kickball

Remember back in elementary school when the gym teacher picked two kids to be captains and pick teams to play kickball? Whether you were a captain or not, you wanted to be on the strongest team. If you weren't a captain, once you got picked you probably made suggestions to the captain about who you thought was the best classmate to pick next. Did you base your picks on who you liked hanging out with most, who made you laugh the most, or who would help you win the most? If your goal was to win, hopefully you picked the best kickball player. 

As adults, we are all in another game. The game of life. In this game you don't have a choice about whether you are a captain. You just ARE. So, who are you picking to be on your team? Are you picking people that will help you accomplish your goals in life? Are you picking people who can teach you how to be better at what matters to you?

Proverbs 27:17
As iron sharpens iron, so one man sharpens another.

Hebrews 10:25
Let us not give up meeting together, as some are in the habit of doing, but let us encourage one another -- and all the more as you see the Day approaching.

"Thank God our transmission blew up!"

I'll warn you.  This is a long post.  It is mostly for my sake so I remember how God provided.  If you read it, just imagine it is a short book and it will seem like a short story instead of a long blog post.  Here it goes.

I had just had two conversations about how fortunate we have been that our 2003 Honda Odyssey hadn't had any transmission problems.  Everybody I know that has that model and that year has already had their transmission fail.  Well, on the way to the beach it was our turn.  It was a sinking feeling to be on I-40 well past the Raleigh area, van packed full, plus luggage on the roof and I see my tachometer registering 5-6,000 RPMs.  And, no, I wasn't driving fast enough for that to be right. 

We limp to the next exit which was the last populated exit for a couple marathons.  With the help of a very friendly and assertive gas station employee we confirm that our transmission was no longer functional.  Of course, the smoke, fluid on the ground and lack of forward movement were pretty convincing to me that I had a blown transmission and I have never even replaced a flat tire or changed the oil myself.

I quickly accepted that this van was not going to get us to our final destination at Pine Knoll Shores.  So, we needed to get it to someplace that could repair the transmission and we needed another form of transportation to get us the remaining 100 miles, or so.  No problem, I called AAA.  I've been paying for it for about 20 years.  Time to cash in.  Before they could help me, they needed to know where I was at.  That meant I needed to know where I was at.  I was off I-40 in a BP parking lot, next to a McDonald's.  That wasn't good enough for them. Fortunately I remembered that the exit sign said Warsaw.  Apparently Warsaw isn't a very big place because AAA kept asking for the nearest larger town.  Eventually, we identified Goldsboro as the nearest population large enough to receive a transmissionless Honda Odyssey. 

Our trip quickly went from a great beach trip to a long pit stop at the Warsaw BP.  But, then it turned back into a cool family trip, in our kid's eyes anyway, because our kids got a kick out of riding in the tow truck with our van on the flat bed right out the back window.

34 miles later (I know this because AAA only covers 3 miles and then I pay $3/mile for the rest) we end up at the Honda dealership in Goldsboro.  They quickly diagnose my problem and present me with an estimate and our options.  Without paraphrasing too much, they come and say, "the transmission will cost $5,300 to fix, we will give you $500 for the van as a trade in, and all the car rental places in Goldsboro are closed because it is Saturday".  Fortunately, while waiting for the tow truck and on the ride to Goldsboro, we had coordinated with our GREAT friends, that were originally going to meet us at the beach the next day, to get my truck from home and bring it to us after they did a quick packing of all their stuff.  So, we had about 3 hours to kill in Goldsboro with no transportation. 

We decided to use that time to figure out some options for the end of the week when we needed a second vehicle again.  Of course, the dealership was more than happy to get us in one of their vans for a test drive.  We started out smart by driving one of the used vans on the lot.  But, then we tested one of the new vans. 

The next hour, or so, was spent talking with the sales manager at the dealership, other dealerships, family and friends trying to figure out what our next move was.  Ultimately, I couldn't justify making a decision of that magnitude within 4 hours of our beach trip turning into a car buying trip.  I told the sales manager about the $200 rocking chair that I bought spontaneously 12 years ago and that it still bugs me that I didn't think it through.  He offered to keep his price till I could call him during the week after having time to think about it.    

Thanks to our wonderful friends, we finally got to the beach 5-6 hours after we had planned to arrive but we were there and the house had a hot tub.  If you ever have your transmission die, find a hot tub.

Sunday morning we went to a local church and heard about 4 sermons, or it seemed like it because each time it seemed like the pastor had summed up the message, he jumped right back in.  One time, I thought he was about to wrap up and then he said, "now lets dig a little bit deeper".  Fortunately, the content was good.  The first summation was that we need to understand that our lives are directed by God's Purpose, God's Plan and God's Timing.  That was a pretty well timed message for us.  For those of you curious what the text was that he drew this from.  It was 1 Samuel 24 where David spares Saul's life in the cave.   

Later that afternoon, we were sitting on the beach and we see a tire washing up on the shore.  We immediately started laughing and remembering the sermon.  God's Purpose, God's Plan, God's Timing.  We jokingly said it must mean it was God's Purpose to get us a new van, God's Plan to have it wash up piece by piece, and God's Timing meant we needed to stay at the beach till the rest of the van showed up.

It gets better.  The next day, Kaylyn and I are walking down the beach and we see a second tire washing up.  Unbelievable!!  We told our friends about the second piece of our new van washing up.  They said, "no, it's a different kind of tire (true) which means they should also be getting a new van".  They had the same model we did and were having troubles but theirs was still moving at the moment.     

Monday afternoon, while people were resting, reading or playing inside, I did van research.  First decision was to fix it or not.  Then, if not, buy used or new and where.  The information I had seemed to lead to buying new and ultimately buying it at the dealership in Goldsboro.  We got a good price and some nice extras to sweeten the deal.  They also were very nice hosts that Saturday afternoon, accomodating our kids, tolerating all our phone calls, etc.  So, Tuesday evening I finalize the deal and we arranged to pick up our new van the upcoming Saturday on our way home from the beach. 

So, why the title to the blog?  "Thank God, our transmission blew up!"  Initially, it didn't seem like a very good situation but as we dealt with it and looking back on it we see so many instances where God provided.  And, ultimately, it was a perfect time for us to make the transition to a new van which I new was coming sooner or later with our mileage and the history of transmission issues on these model years.  Here are some examples of God's provision.

-We had debated whether we should go to our girl's soccer games the morning that we left for the beach.  We decided to skip the games to get to the beach "at a reasonable time".  If we had waited, our transmission would have blown much later in the day.  Most of the story above couldn't have happened.  The dealership would be closed.  Our friends wouldn't have had as much time to respond.  Even something as small as that I was going to get gas at the exit we limped up to.  So, I had saved a full tanks worth of $$.

-God has provided us with great friends that proactively came up with the plan to come rescue us.  We hadn't even thought to ask.

-God provided us with great memories.  The ride in the tow truck was the highlight of day one of our vacation for the girls.  I look forward to talking with our friends years from now and saying "remember that beach trip when we got new vans.....".

-The closest car place that was open was a Honda dealership.  Not only that, but as I talked to people throughout the week, I heard more than once that they had heard good things about that dealership.  What are the odds that we get towed to a car dealerhip an hour from home that people have had good experiences at? 

-God showed His sense of humor with the tires washing up.  Just in case the situation was weighing us down, He provided many laughs for us that week.  I've never seen a tire wash up, not just appear one morning, but actually washing up in front of us.  I'm guessing I won't see that again.

-It turned out to be the perfect time to buy a van.  Honda was running a .9% financing offer which took some of the short term financial burden off the decision.  I didn't need the 2nd car for a week.  It was the end of the month when dealers want to "deal".  I had plenty of free time to research vans which was actually kind of fun.  Being so far from home, I had alot of dealerships I could call that were between the beach and home so I had alot of info to go into the price negotiations with.  If the van had died a week earlier, during the kid's school year, we would have been in a bind.  As Kaylyn pointed out, I was with her when it happened.  She isn't a big fan of having car problems on her own.

Oh, and one fun piece of information to wrap up this story is that our friends ended up buying a new van that week, too.  They were able to get the local dealership at the beach to match the deal I got plus a better trade in on their still-functioning-van.  So, we both left with old vans with numerous problems and both returned with new vans and great deals AND unforgetable memories. 

Thank God for His timing.  Thank God for our friends.  Thank God for our memories.

Thank God, our transmission blew up!                                                            

Lessons From the Range, Part II

This picks up where Lessons from the Range, Part I finished. 

After shooting the rifle for a while, we went over to the shorter range to take a "shot" at the handguns.  After a few shots with a .38 revolver, he moved on to the 9mm semi-automatic.  Its a fun gun to shoot.  You can take up to 15 shots per magazine as quickly as you can pull the trigger.  My friend lined up about 7 yards away and got the target in his sights.  I was hoping he would hit some part of the target.  I needn't have worried.  He didn't waste any time.  He lined up the sights and hit the target a few inches from the bullseye.  After each shot, he adjusted as he saw where he was missing.  Eventually, he hit the bullseye a few times.  And when he missed, he wasn't missing by much.  I was impressed.  It didn't take long at all for him to get used to shooting and doing it well.

What if he had stood there, not shooting, trying to get it just right before he would pull the trigger?  He could have read a book on holding a gun steady, controlling his breathing, using just the right amount of energy to pull the trigger without moving the gun, positioning his feet, bending his legs, rounding his back, using one eye, or both.  And, he would have not taken a shot for days.  Instead, he stepped up to the line and gave it his best shot with what little knowledge and training he had.  It took him minutes to go from his first shot to a consistent good shot.  He was willing to not be perfect, but to take that first shot, so he could learn and adjust.  The shot that was most critical to him hitting the bullseye was the shot just before the one that hit the bullseye.  Until he took that first shot, his chances of hitting the bullseye on his next shot were pretty slim.  Each shot after that increased his chances of success. 

What are you waiting to do because you may not hit the bullseye with the first shot?  What are you taking days, weeks, months or even years to do because you haven't taken the first shot?  What are you waiting to do because you might fail the first time?

I read a quote posted by Michael Hyatt this week.  "Perfectionism is the mother of procrastination".  Now, there is a time and place for "perfecting" something but often we don't even start something worth doing because we might fail the first time.

The title of a sermon I heard years ago by David Bowen was "If it is worth doing, it's worth doing poorly".  It's the same lesson.  The quickest way to doing something right is start doing it now and learn from the mistakes.                 

Lessons From the Range, Part I

I recently had the opportunity to take a friend to the range to do some target shooting.  It was his first time shooting a gun.  I showed him the basics including gun safety, then let him have a shot at the targets down range.  He set up well, holding the gun properly, looked confident and appeared to have the sights lined up on the target well.  Only problem was that the targets weren't getting hit by his bullets.  After a couple shots, I lined up behind him and was able to tell him where he was missing based on where dirt was kicking up.  It was easier for me to see this, as his spotter, than it was for him.  So, instead of just knowing he missed, he now knew if he was missing right, left, up or down.  As a result, he was able to make adjustments in between shots.  This ultimately led to the bottle with colored water getting a couple holes in it about the size of a .22 round.  Success!  Could he have eventually hit the target without me?  Absolutely!  Did having a spotter help him reach success quicker?  I think he would say it did.  He went from missing by as much as 2-3 feet from 25+ yards at the beginning to hitting bottles on consecutive shots in his final round.  I suspect he would say it was also more fun when he started hitting the targets.  It was fun to shoot, but even more fun to see results.  

Who is your spotter?  Are you delaying success in an area of your life because you are trying to do it on your own?  Do you have somebody that can point out where you are missing?  Are you restricting the enjoyment you could have because you are insisting that you do it on your own?  If you are a leader, are you hindering a follower's growth because you are not asking a fellow leader to spot for you?

I used to be a firm believer that it was up to me to do it on my own.  "If it has to be, it is up to me".  That is a good statement as far as taking responsibility but it can lead to you maybe trying to do it on your own.  How about, "if it has to be, it is up to me to find people to help me"?                                

Pull-Ups

I have a love/hate relationship with pull-ups.  When I can do them, I love them.  When I can't do them, I hate them. 

Two years ago I did the fitness test for P90x and did a staggering 2 pull-ups.  "Staggering", because that is what I felt like after I did them.  I'm not even sure they were a full 2 pull-ups.  Probably more like 2 pulls and 2 neck extensions that equaled about 3 inches total.  I hated pull-ups!

Tonight, I just got done doing 90+ pull-ups.  Not at one time, of course.  Many sets of 7-12 reps with about 1-2 minutes in between each set.  I didn't just try harder or want it more.  It took time and effort and discipline.  It was a process.  Not a perfect process, but a process none the less.  I didn't really commit to the pull-ups while doing P90x.  I always did the "cheating" pull-ups with a chair.  It was a process of doing P90x imperfectly, Insanity imperfectly, running imperfectly, dieting imperfectly and basic weight lifting imperfectly.  The process of fitness training overcame those imperfections.  I'm still far from perfect but I can now do as many as 14 pull-ups at one time.  7 times what I could do 2 years ago!  What if I hadn't started that process back then?  What if I had let the "hate" prevent me from trying and keeping at it? 

What could I do 7 times better in 2 years if I start the process now?  What could you do 7 times better in 2 years if you start the process now? 

In two years, what will I wish I had started 2 years ago?  Leading?  Scripture memorization?  Parenting?  Being a better husband/wife?  Some form of exercise?  How many books could I have read?

I'm pretty sure if I don't start the process now, I won't be any better off tomorrow, next week, next month or next year.  I'm not going to magically get smarter or more fit or become a better spouse (even though I know Kaylyn is praying for that miracle every day).  I may have some obstacles along the way, maybe even some setbacks but the process will ensure success over time.  It may take longer than I intend or hope but that success won't happen at all if I don't start now.     

Oh, and "I love pull-ups!"
 

               
      

Confidence

I love this picture.  Riley was about 3 or 4 years old and wanted to go out into the waves with me. She was uncertain about going out in the waves on her own so she asked me to take her out.  She knows that she is safe with me holding her but look at her hand on my back with a fist full of my shirt.  I am sure she had a smile on her face and if you asked her, she knew I would hold on to her.  But, just to be sure, she was holding on.  She was acting brave and eager but she still needed to hold onto something.

Sometimes, as a leader, you need to appear confident even when you aren't.  You need to have that smile on your face and confidence in your voice.  Maybe it is pushing forward to a level of performance you have never attained.  Maybe it is a major change in direction.  Maybe it is responding to a big problem that could potentially derail the progress you have made.  

If a leader waits till they are completely confident to act, most things worth doing will never happen.  But, if a team doesn't sense confidence from the leader, they will be very hesitant to accept change, or to push forward when things get rough.        

So, as a leader, what will you be holding onto to create that confidence?  Or, WHO will you be holding onto?  Philippians 4:13 says "I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me".       

    

When is Uncomfortable Good?

When you are buying shoes, you want them to be comfortable. If they are uncomfortable they could cause you to compensate with how you stand and walk which could result in foot, leg or back problems. With shoes, being comfortable is healthy.

What about calling up somebody that you admire to see if they will have breakfast or lunch with you so you can learn something? This is not something I would do to feel comfortable. Often I am a bit intimidated or just don't feel worthy of their time. Plus, they may reject me and say "no". In this case, is striving for comfort healthy or unhealthy?

What about looking for opportunities to grow? That often means acknowledging what you aren't strong at, like public speaking, maybe. That doesn't feel good. I'd rather think about what I am good at, like math. How would I get better at public speaking? By speaking in public, which makes me uncomfortable. How will I grow more, seeking opportunities that make me comfortable or uncomfortable?

When I'm reading a development book, do I like books that make me feel good because they validate what I already believe or emphasize my strengths, or do I like books that make me uncomfortable because they push me out of my comfort zone?

I have found that I learn a lot more when the palms of my hands are clammy.

I have found that opportunities that keep me up at night as I work through them in my head push me to grow.

I have found that interacting with people that challenge my way of thinking, strengthens my thinking.

So, with shoes or sofas, comfort is good. With personal development, I should often seek opportunities that make me a bit uncomfortable, or maybe really uncomfortable. Seeking to be comfortable will only hinder my learning and maturing.

Why Read?

"Leaders Read, Readers Lead".  

"Where you will be in 5 years depends on who you associate with now and what you are reading". 

Those are a couple quotes I like and have found to be accurate regarding reading.  When I hire a new employee and conduct an orientation, I tell them that there are two personal disciplines that I have found to be very important.  Those two disciplines are physical exercise and mental excercise.  Earlier I wrote a few posts on Why I Run.  Well, I'm finally getting to Why I Read. 

To put it simply, reading is the easiest, most efficient, least expensive and least painful way to learn that I have found.  So, why learn?  If you want to grow, develop, progress or get better at anything you must learn.  Continuous learning is critical for continuous living.  Without learning, the world will literally pass you by.  How can you have a positive influence on others without learning yourself?  What lessons can you teach that you haven't learned yourself?

Reading allows you to learn pretty much anything you want.  You can go online or to a library and find a book about anything.  It is so easy.  Sitting and reading.  It's that simple. 

The nice thing about books is that they are written by people that have already done the research.  It can take years for a book to be researched and then written.  It can take days, maybe even hours, to read the results of all that research.  That is some efficiency.  The life of Abraham Lincoln spanned 56 years.  I've read books about him.  He was a great leader and I was able to learn the leadership lessons from him in less than 31 days.  Plus, other than some documentaries, how else would you learn those lessons?  He isn't around to share them. 

With the internet and libraries, it is almost free to read.  The biggest costs would be the opportunity cost.  What could you be doing if you weren't reading?  Well, if learning is so important, what could you do with the time you are reading that would be more valuable?  It's hard to find something that could fill that 30 minutes that could be more valuable to your life.  More enjoyable, maybe.  But, more valuable?  Well, running/exercising, but lets assume you are doing that already.

So many of the lessons we learn come as a result of failing and suffering the consequences of not doing something right the first time.  These are great lessons and well worth the pain associated with failing, sometimes literally.  But, with reading, you can learn from other people's mistakes.  That is alot less painful.  I mentioned Lincoln above.  He wasn't perfect and didn't do everything right the first time.  I'd rather learn from his mistakes than have to learn from my mistakes that others have already made before me. 

Those are the practical reasons that I read but not the only reasons.  Just like running, I find reading to be a nice break from the day.  While I am able to think things through when I run, reading allows me to get away from those things I have been thinking about all day. 

I have also read the results of studies that indicate that people that read or regularly do other mental exercises such as Sudoku or crossword puzzles are less likely to develop mental illnesses such as Alzeheimers as they age.  Or, if they do contract those mental illnesses, they are less severe than in people that have not been regularly challenging their brain.  Makes sense.  If you want your arm to stay functional, use it.  If you want your brain to stay functional, use it.        

Why Read?  Because I want to truly live.  Because I owe it to my family, my business, my friends and those that I don't even know yet that I may have the opportunity to influence in a positive way.                         
    

Back to Normal?

When our family goes on a vacation or has a particularly busy period of time, we often can be heard saying "we need to get back into the routine" or "back to normal". This past weekend our family got news that my dad has a bone marrow disorder that will disrupt my parents life at least for the four months that he is scheduled for chemo. We frequently were making comments about getting back to normal. I wonder if God wants us to have "normal routines" to get back to?

The first 3 days I was in GA with my parents were relatively normal. Yes, I was there without the rest of my family and there was a lot of anxiety around getting the results. But, we went to dinner at Longhorn Steakhouse, a family favorite, where we ordered our normal meals. We watched sports like normal. Dad went to work like normal. We played a board game like normal. Mom kept busy, like normal. We avoided emotion, like normal.

On Friday, we got the news..... and, for the most part continued to act like normal. At least until dinner. We had to find a restaurant that wasn't busy so dad wouldn't be likely to pick up germs. We did Skype in the truck in the parking lot of Panera Bread because they had WiFi. We got home and started to act like normal again. Then, we had a conversation that included many tears a few hugs and lots of love. The love is pretty normal but the hugs, tears and intensity of emotion were very unnormal.

We entered Saturday hoping for a "normal" day. It was anything but normal. It started kind of slow with a good breakfast but not much talking. Around 1:00, a neighbor stopped by and shared an incredible story and gave my dad a very touching gift. We got a phone call from a relative with a really encouraging story that makes it hard to not believe in the sovereignty of God. We cried a lot. We ate dinner at 4:00 to avoid crowds. We had 4 people show up at the house at almost the exact same time to offer support. Eventually, we sat down to watch sports, like normal. Instead, we had more good conversation and more tears. Oh, and hung a valance over a window at 10 PM.

Sunday morning, we started like normal with a newspaper but quickly got unnormal. We had a prayer time together. Just speaking as we felt called. And crying. Soon, they had to go to church and I needed to get on the road. Normally, our goodbyes are quick hugs with mom and a handshake with dad along with a "take care", "see you...", or maybe even a quick "love ya". This morning it was long hugs for everybody, sincere "I love you's" and lots of tears. I even stopped as I was backing out, watching my parents wave goodbye, got out, ran up and gave them both one more big hug and "I Love You". It just seemed right. NOT NORMAL at all.

My trip home included spontaneous flowing of tears for the first couple hours. Not normal.

So, the first 3 days were "normal". I enjoyed that time with my parents. The last 2 days were not normal and those days were priceless.

I do hope my dad's health can get back to normal as much as possible but I hope our lives and our relationships never go "back to normal". I have a hunch that God's desire for us is to not be in our "normal routines" but to be uncomfortable and vulnerable and challenged. That is when we see His Hands at work in our lives. God's presence was so clear those last two days, and still is. Why would we want to go "back to normal"?

2011-2012

Each year since 2006 there seems to be a significant event, project or theme that sticks out for me. In 2006 it was training for and running my first, and still only, marathon. 2007 was the year we hit Symbol of Success at the store. In 2008 we participated in the development of the Recipe for Service. 2009 started as our best year ever and ended with me restructuring and restaffing my team for the future. 2010 was a year of struggles as an owner, leader, dad and husband.

How about 2011? And, what will it be in 2012?

As I wrote in a previous post, I entered 2011 with rumors about Zaxby's opening in our area. It turned out that they opened on the other end of our parking lot. I learned a lot about trust and perseverance through this. To control my anxiety about things I couldn't control. To see opportunities in the challenges. When I was tempted to complain or give up, I realized that I wouldn't just be letting myself down but also those that know me. I would be missing an opportunity to set an example of trusting God, persevering, and growing.

We opened in July of 1999. After Zaxby's opened in July of 2011, I was asked by a school and a church to come speak. I had never been asked before this. In both cases, students asked me how I felt about Zaxby's opening next door and I was able to share how I grew from being depressed and worrying constantly to trusting God and focusing on those things that I could control. I have since had the opportunity to speak to/with other groups. Nothing for 11+ years. Then, after working through Zaxby's opening, God has opened numerous doors to influence others. What if I had stayed in my depressed, victim mindset?

2011 was the year of learning to trust God and developing a growth mindset.

How about 2012? Well, 2011 began with the anxiety of a competitor opening and potentially hurting our business and impacting my family's well being. At least financially. 2012 begins with recent news that my dad has some abnormal blood test results, has had a bone marrow biopsy and we are awaiting the results. I don't know what the results will be. I don't know how this will play out in the upcoming year. I do know that I learned lessons in 2011 that I can apply in 2012.