Back to Normal?

When our family goes on a vacation or has a particularly busy period of time, we often can be heard saying "we need to get back into the routine" or "back to normal". This past weekend our family got news that my dad has a bone marrow disorder that will disrupt my parents life at least for the four months that he is scheduled for chemo. We frequently were making comments about getting back to normal. I wonder if God wants us to have "normal routines" to get back to?

The first 3 days I was in GA with my parents were relatively normal. Yes, I was there without the rest of my family and there was a lot of anxiety around getting the results. But, we went to dinner at Longhorn Steakhouse, a family favorite, where we ordered our normal meals. We watched sports like normal. Dad went to work like normal. We played a board game like normal. Mom kept busy, like normal. We avoided emotion, like normal.

On Friday, we got the news..... and, for the most part continued to act like normal. At least until dinner. We had to find a restaurant that wasn't busy so dad wouldn't be likely to pick up germs. We did Skype in the truck in the parking lot of Panera Bread because they had WiFi. We got home and started to act like normal again. Then, we had a conversation that included many tears a few hugs and lots of love. The love is pretty normal but the hugs, tears and intensity of emotion were very unnormal.

We entered Saturday hoping for a "normal" day. It was anything but normal. It started kind of slow with a good breakfast but not much talking. Around 1:00, a neighbor stopped by and shared an incredible story and gave my dad a very touching gift. We got a phone call from a relative with a really encouraging story that makes it hard to not believe in the sovereignty of God. We cried a lot. We ate dinner at 4:00 to avoid crowds. We had 4 people show up at the house at almost the exact same time to offer support. Eventually, we sat down to watch sports, like normal. Instead, we had more good conversation and more tears. Oh, and hung a valance over a window at 10 PM.

Sunday morning, we started like normal with a newspaper but quickly got unnormal. We had a prayer time together. Just speaking as we felt called. And crying. Soon, they had to go to church and I needed to get on the road. Normally, our goodbyes are quick hugs with mom and a handshake with dad along with a "take care", "see you...", or maybe even a quick "love ya". This morning it was long hugs for everybody, sincere "I love you's" and lots of tears. I even stopped as I was backing out, watching my parents wave goodbye, got out, ran up and gave them both one more big hug and "I Love You". It just seemed right. NOT NORMAL at all.

My trip home included spontaneous flowing of tears for the first couple hours. Not normal.

So, the first 3 days were "normal". I enjoyed that time with my parents. The last 2 days were not normal and those days were priceless.

I do hope my dad's health can get back to normal as much as possible but I hope our lives and our relationships never go "back to normal". I have a hunch that God's desire for us is to not be in our "normal routines" but to be uncomfortable and vulnerable and challenged. That is when we see His Hands at work in our lives. God's presence was so clear those last two days, and still is. Why would we want to go "back to normal"?

2011-2012

Each year since 2006 there seems to be a significant event, project or theme that sticks out for me. In 2006 it was training for and running my first, and still only, marathon. 2007 was the year we hit Symbol of Success at the store. In 2008 we participated in the development of the Recipe for Service. 2009 started as our best year ever and ended with me restructuring and restaffing my team for the future. 2010 was a year of struggles as an owner, leader, dad and husband.

How about 2011? And, what will it be in 2012?

As I wrote in a previous post, I entered 2011 with rumors about Zaxby's opening in our area. It turned out that they opened on the other end of our parking lot. I learned a lot about trust and perseverance through this. To control my anxiety about things I couldn't control. To see opportunities in the challenges. When I was tempted to complain or give up, I realized that I wouldn't just be letting myself down but also those that know me. I would be missing an opportunity to set an example of trusting God, persevering, and growing.

We opened in July of 1999. After Zaxby's opened in July of 2011, I was asked by a school and a church to come speak. I had never been asked before this. In both cases, students asked me how I felt about Zaxby's opening next door and I was able to share how I grew from being depressed and worrying constantly to trusting God and focusing on those things that I could control. I have since had the opportunity to speak to/with other groups. Nothing for 11+ years. Then, after working through Zaxby's opening, God has opened numerous doors to influence others. What if I had stayed in my depressed, victim mindset?

2011 was the year of learning to trust God and developing a growth mindset.

How about 2012? Well, 2011 began with the anxiety of a competitor opening and potentially hurting our business and impacting my family's well being. At least financially. 2012 begins with recent news that my dad has some abnormal blood test results, has had a bone marrow biopsy and we are awaiting the results. I don't know what the results will be. I don't know how this will play out in the upcoming year. I do know that I learned lessons in 2011 that I can apply in 2012.