When our family goes on a vacation or has a particularly busy period of time, we often can be heard saying "we need to get back into the routine" or "back to normal". This past weekend our family got news that my dad has a bone marrow disorder that will disrupt my parents life at least for the four months that he is scheduled for chemo. We frequently were making comments about getting back to normal. I wonder if God wants us to have "normal routines" to get back to?
The first 3 days I was in GA with my parents were relatively normal. Yes, I was there without the rest of my family and there was a lot of anxiety around getting the results. But, we went to dinner at Longhorn Steakhouse, a family favorite, where we ordered our normal meals. We watched sports like normal. Dad went to work like normal. We played a board game like normal. Mom kept busy, like normal. We avoided emotion, like normal.
On Friday, we got the news..... and, for the most part continued to act like normal. At least until dinner. We had to find a restaurant that wasn't busy so dad wouldn't be likely to pick up germs. We did Skype in the truck in the parking lot of Panera Bread because they had WiFi. We got home and started to act like normal again. Then, we had a conversation that included many tears a few hugs and lots of love. The love is pretty normal but the hugs, tears and intensity of emotion were very unnormal.
We entered Saturday hoping for a "normal" day. It was anything but normal. It started kind of slow with a good breakfast but not much talking. Around 1:00, a neighbor stopped by and shared an incredible story and gave my dad a very touching gift. We got a phone call from a relative with a really encouraging story that makes it hard to not believe in the sovereignty of God. We cried a lot. We ate dinner at 4:00 to avoid crowds. We had 4 people show up at the house at almost the exact same time to offer support. Eventually, we sat down to watch sports, like normal. Instead, we had more good conversation and more tears. Oh, and hung a valance over a window at 10 PM.
Sunday morning, we started like normal with a newspaper but quickly got unnormal. We had a prayer time together. Just speaking as we felt called. And crying. Soon, they had to go to church and I needed to get on the road. Normally, our goodbyes are quick hugs with mom and a handshake with dad along with a "take care", "see you...", or maybe even a quick "love ya". This morning it was long hugs for everybody, sincere "I love you's" and lots of tears. I even stopped as I was backing out, watching my parents wave goodbye, got out, ran up and gave them both one more big hug and "I Love You". It just seemed right. NOT NORMAL at all.
My trip home included spontaneous flowing of tears for the first couple hours. Not normal.
So, the first 3 days were "normal". I enjoyed that time with my parents. The last 2 days were not normal and those days were priceless.
I do hope my dad's health can get back to normal as much as possible but I hope our lives and our relationships never go "back to normal". I have a hunch that God's desire for us is to not be in our "normal routines" but to be uncomfortable and vulnerable and challenged. That is when we see His Hands at work in our lives. God's presence was so clear those last two days, and still is. Why would we want to go "back to normal"?
Why Marathon of Learning?
Back in 2011 I started capturing stories from my life. Or simple observations. The idea being that I need to remember what I’m learning and track how I’m thinking.
That year I had read Mindset by Carol Dweck and realized I didn’t like how I thought on a lot of things, particularly struggles and failure. I needed a more growth oriented mindset. So, I started writing.
Why marathon? It’s proven to fit well as it’s now 2018 and I’m still learning. Learning isn’t a sprint. Not a 400 meter dash. It’s ongoing. It’s life long.
More recently I’m learning the value of knowing, sharing and writing your story. This is part of my story.