Passion or Purpose?

It was the summer of 1996.  I had graduated from college, played my last college baseball game and had decided on pursing the path of CFA operator.  As a result, I was working 6 days a week, averaging 60 hour weeks (for those that don't love math, that means half of the weeks were more than 60 hours).  I was on salary, making $19,000 a year (adjusting for inflation, that is $31,000 today).  I asked for more $$ or a day off.  The answer I got was NO.  Kaylyn and I were about to be engaged and I remember standing in her drive way telling her I was drained.  My tank was empty.

So, where would I find time to refuel?  Well, I was also playing baseball on a local mens team around metro Atlanta because baseball was my passion.  Most games were Sunday afternoons.  I was working 6 days, going to church and then playing baseball on the 7th day.  As the summer wore on, I began to realize something.  Baseball wasn't my future.  It was my passion, but it wasn't my purpose.  I had 3 things taking my time and leaving no room for restoration.  CFA, Kaylyn, baseball.  I knew that the path to operator required my commitment to CFA.  I knew Kaylyn was going to be my wife.  That left baseball as simply a passion with no purpose.

I called the coach up and told him I couldn't continue.  To this day, it's the only role I've ever quit prematurely.  That was my last time playing in a baseball game.  It was a hard decision.  I love baseball and I hate quiting.   And, it was the right decision.

The world says "follow your passion".  There is some value there BUT it becomes destructive when your passion and your purpose conflict.  The key is to find where passion and purpose overlap.

That's when CFA became my next sport.  It turns out that while I do enjoy throwing and hitting the ball, what I really enjoy is team competition.  I wasn't going to make a living in baseball.  At that moment in her driveway, I wasn't passionate about CFA.  I had to bring those together so that I could make a living doing something I'm passionate about.  It was a decision that changed my life.

Passion alone can take you down the wrong path.  Purpose alone can be draining.  Find your purpose and bring your passion into it.     

A/C switch

                                      

My second car was a 1990 blue Honda Accord with a sun roof.  I really enjoyed that car.  It was quick, handled well and it had a sunroof!  It also had 90,000 miles when I got it...

A while after I got it, the dial for the A/C control broke and I was left with a little metal knob that I needed pliers to adjust anytime I wanted to adjust my climate control in the car.  I drove it like this for well over a year.



My mom asked me why I wasn't getting a new plastic cover so that I could adjust the temperature like most people and I told her I didn't want to spend the $$.  I don't remember the cost but lets go with $25.  She then asked me if I thought I would get a knob before selling the car and I told her YES.  Then she asked if I had $25 I could spend to get the new one and I told her YES.  Then she asked why would I intentionally deal with the difficulty for so long if I knew how to fix it and had the $$ to do so...?  If I was going to spend the $25 eventually, why not go ahead and do it now and enjoy the benefit going forward?

People tend to do this with their homes, too.  It's not uncommon for people to decide to sell their house, do the repairs/remodels to make it sell better and then realize they like their house so much more after the repairs/remodels.  Why did they wait to spend the??  They could have done it a year ago and enjoyed the investments but they waited.  Same $$.  Less benefit.     

What is broken in your day that you are choosing to deal with the hard way when the solution is available now?  What are you waiting for?     

   

My (leadership) Fitness Pal

In January, some of us at CFAROX began a fitness challenge.  Every day since that kick-off event I've tracked my calories and exercise.  Every day, I've gone to bed knowing how I did in my pursuit of being more physically fit.  Some days have been better than others.

I didn't learn anything new.  I had all the same knowledge prior to committing to tracking my behavior.

I've had a nice dinner at Angus Barn.  I've had lots of good free food at our annual seminar.  I've enjoyed Super Bowl snacks.  I've had one of the best meals I've ever had at a restaurant in California.  And, I've tracked it.  By tracking it, I've learned to prepare.  That Angus Barn dinner...  I still ended the day within my target AND enjoyed the dinner.

The result is that my belt is not as tight.  I've run further than I have in 3.5 years.  I've run faster than I have in 2 years.  No new knowledge.  The only thing I've paid for is a new pair of running shoes.

I simply committed to tracking my calories in and out daily.

What fitness goal do you have?  Physical fitness?  Relational Fitness?  Mental Fitness?  Spiritual Fitness?  Are you tracking it?  Daily?

I can tell you for certain, if I stop tracking my fitness, I will go back to my old behavior and get the results that got me out of shape to begin with.

What are you tracking?  Are you tracking the things you say you want to accomplish? 

Say It, Do It.

He's a good....

Sometime near my 10th year as operator we had some folks from CFA visiting the store and one introduced me as a "really good numbers operator".  They meant it as a compliment but that comment stuck with me and not in a good way.  Why did they qualify their statement with "numbers"?  Why not just "really good operator"?  I began studying what it would mean to be a good, well rounded, operator and committed to growing into that.

Fast forward to last week.  At our CFA gathering in California I was talking with a couple people and one introduced me as "a really good operator".  I immediately recalled that introduction 10+ years ago and the comment stuck with me...  and not in a good way.

A "good operator" runs a complete business.  Culture, numbers, results...  But, why did they qualify the statement with "operator"?  I'm sure they meant well.  But, I know operators that when I introduce them I wouldn't limit their introduction to "operator".  He is a great person.  A tremendous influence.  A caring person.  An impactful leader.  A good and faithful servant.  Sure they are also a "good operator" but that's not even close to capturing who they are. 

10 years ago I was introduced as a "good numbers operator".  Last week I was introduced as a "good operator".  Tomorrow I hope to be introduced as a good and faithful servant. 

On my knees

A couple weeks ago, our church selected me to become an Elder and part of the process included an "installation" during the service.  They called me to the front and I answered some questions, vows.  Then, I was asked to kneel and all the elders gathered around me and prayed.  As I kneeled, my perspective shifted immediately.  I had been consciously standing straight (as my mom taught me).  Hands clasped.  Still.  In control.  Respectful.  And, I thought, humble...

Then I was asked to kneel.  When you get on your knees in front of alot of people, and with people standing around you, the feeling changes.  It's a submissive position.  A humbling position.  A good position.

We aren't a church that does alot of kneeling.  I don't know why some churches kneel more than others.  I'm sure some do it so much that it may lose it's meaning.  Our's probably doesn't do it often enough.

It's so easy to see our surroundings from the perspective of standing up straight.  It's how we normally present ourselves.  We've been taught to stand up straight.  "Be professional".  Act with authority.  Be strong. 

BUT, when I was on my knees in front of the congregation, I think I had the best perspective for serving in the role of elder.  AND,  I think that may be true of my role as husband, father, business owner, friend...

We can't always be on our knees literally but we can make an effort to make it the perspective from which we serve.

It's all Portuguese to me....

The theme at NEXT was "Win the Heart".  This may come as a bit of a surprise but that theme didn't exactly get me amped up as we headed to Anaheim, California.  But, 4 days without kids in California with free food and seeing some good friends that we don't see often still was something to look forward to.

Day 2 began with Trudy White (Truett's daughter and John White's mom) sharing a bit of her story.  A part of that story included the beginning of their time in Brazil.  She was having trouble picking up Portuguese, the primary language there, and her inability to communicate easily was contributing to a feeling of being completely overwhelmed and at the end of a particularly hard day she turned to God in desperation.  "Help!!"

As Trudy shared this, I realized something.  Language about "winning the heart" isn't my native language.  In fact, I had just talked with Kaylyn a couple weeks ago about how I need help understanding the feelings and emotions that are occuring in our family.  It's not something I naturally pick up quickly.  It's like Portuguese was for Trudy.  I realized right then that I had not turned to God for help in this area.  I had been content not being able to "speak the language" but I realized that in doing so, I was beginning to get overwhelmed and limiting the person God created me to be.

Just as God responded to Trudy's plea, He has been waiting for me to ask.  "God, I don't understand all this!  Help!"

At NEXT, we have a few options of sessions we can attend and I typically choose those that interest me.  In that moment, I felt a nudge to select a session that I'd never have chosen for fun.  "Cultivating a Healthy Soul".  I think Kaylyn was just a wee-bit surprised when I told her I was going to that one with her.  There were other "practical" options...

After that morning, instead of looking for affirmations that we were doing all the right things and that I'm a good leader, I was paying close attention to how I could learn to "win the heart".  Beginning with my own heart.  Then others.

Right now, it's all still a foreign language to me.  It might as well be Portuguese.  But, I'm learning.  HE is winning my heart.