What do you see? Describe it.
Would you agree that its a white styrofoam cup with red lettering that says "Sit and sip awhile"?
How about this one? Describe it.
Would you agree that its a white styrofoam cup with a large red icon that looks like a chicken? Any words?
And this one? Describe it.
Looks like a styrofoam cup again. White. I can see "Sit..." but that's it. I can see some red marks on the left side but its not really clear what the image is. Same on the right.
If a person only saw the first picture and described it to a person that only saw the last picture, would they be describing the cup the same way? How about the middle picture? Which would be wrong?
They'd each be describing the same cup but they'd be describing it in different ways. And, they'd each be accurate. And, they'd all not being seeing what the other person was describing.
Situations, problems, opportunities... I think they all are like this cup. I tend to see them from the angle that I naturally see things. And another person is very likely going to see them differently. It's very easy for me to think I'm right which means they must be wrong. Often we are looking at the same "cup" but just seeing a different side of it.
I also have realized that when I am having trouble solving a problem I often need to simply find a different angle to look at the problem from. I've seen this when I'm putting together a jigsaw puzzle. When I'm stumped, I walk away and come back later and look at it from a different position. Often, the piece I'm looking for "magically" appears when I find a different perspective to look at it.
How about a disagreement with another person? We tend to just yell louder what we see from our angle. Would that make sense when describing this cup? If you want the best perspective on this cup, you would either purposefully walk around it to see it completely or you would listen closely to what others see. That would give you the best understanding of what the cup looks like completely. Maybe when we are in a disagreement we should stop insisting on what we see and consider listening more closely to what the other person sees first.
Even if our perspective is best, often we are able to best persuade others when we can show that we see it from their angle as well.
Seeing the other person's perspective doesn't mean you always have to say they are right. But, it does show that you understand their perspective. That's a great place to begin a discussion.
Rather than reading books that reinforce your perspective, maybe its time to read some books or listen to some podcasts that expand your perspective. We like when others affirm our thoughts. They are simply reinforcing the cup looks like you described from that angle. We don't tend to like when people challenge our perspective. But, often, they are simply describing another angle of the same cup.
You don't have to compromise your beliefs to understand the beliefs that others have. In fact, often the best way to strengthen your beliefs is to see them from multiple perspectives.
