Gotta Let Go

Last week during my planning day I was sitting outside doing some reading.  Reece comes by and asks me to take the training wheels off her bike.  We had been working on getting those off for almost a year but she had not been ready so I couldn't pass up this opportunity.  I was reading about leadership.  To pass up an opportunity to lead my daughter seemed to contradict what I was studying.  I'm glad I made the right decision.  I ended up learning and being reminded of some basic principles of leadership during the next 30 minutes.

I decided to take her to a better setting for learning to ride a bike.  We have a new development behind our neighborhood with a dead end road that nobody drives on.  On the way there, I asked her if she was ready to fall.  I told her that "everybody" falls when they learn to ride their bike and that as long as she was OK falling, she would learn to ride that day.  She said she was ready.  

Our first attempt consisted of me holding her seat and handle bars so I was providing the forward energy as well as the balance.  I could sense her leaning heavily in one direction.  It seemed that she was compensating for what she felt me doing.  I had a choice.  I could either provide more support and correct her leaning by pulling harder the other way or I could let go of the handle bars and let her control her balance.  I chose the latter.  

Our second attempt consisted of me holding her seat only and providing a little forward momentum but letting her stear and balance on her own.  Of course, since I had her seat in my hand, if I felt her really lose control, I could take over and prevent a major fall.  Very quickly, I could sense that she was doing well.  I started easing up on the pushing and letting her provide the energy.  Then, I took my hands off completely.  Of course, she didn't know because I was still beside her.  A few feet later, I decided to run up in front of her.  Amazingly, she didn't seem to notice the significance of this right away.  Then I held both my hands up and she realized that she was going on her own.  She had two reactions.  The first was a HUGE smile yelling "I did it!".  Then she immediately stopped because some doubt creeped in.  Fortunately, the satisfaction of doing it herself overcame the doubt that she could really quick and we started our 3rd attempt. 



This time, I just helped her get going and let go right away.  In the time that I fumbled with my phone to get a picture, she was already 40 yards away from me and still going (The picture above was of a later attempt when I was prepared with my phone).  Of course, she hadn't practiced turning so she just kept going straight.  After stopping, turning and coming back, we did a few more attempts with me just helping her get started.  Then, I told her I wasn't going to help anymore.  Within a few attempts she was able to get herself started and turn on her own.  Not only was I a very proud Dad but I was also a better leader (I hope) because I learned and was reminded of some important leaderhip lessons.  As I relive this, I see many lessons but a couple big ones stand out.

The first was the importance of MINDSET.  When I heard her ask to take the training wheels off and to go learn to ride I heard her confidence.  I knew she was ready to learn.  In the past, her mindset had been full of doubt.  The quote, "Whether you think you can or think you can't, you are right", comes to mind. 

Second was the importance of LETTING GO.  If I had continued to hold on or even held on tighter when I felt her leaning she would not have learned nearly as fast as when I made the decision to let go of the handle bar.  Then, when I let go of her seat, she was able to go farther and faster than we would have been able if she was simply relying on me to propel her.  

A leader needs to prepare and equip the team for the moment that they will let go.  If you let go too soon, a disaster could occur.  If I hadn't sensed that she could handle it, I wouldn't let go.  A big crash would have ended our attempt really quick.  If you hold on too long, though,  it delays success and eventually will frustrate the team.  The leader needs to know when to let go and be willing to let go.  

As parents, this is huge.  Whether it is riding a bike, driving a car, waving goodbye as they head to college or handing them off to their new spouse when they get married, we need to have prepared them as best we could and then let go.

In my store, I had been holding onto some basic activities that I just didn't want to hand off.  I had good reasons, I thought.  It wasn't a lack of trust or because I thought I could do it best.  I thought I was doing my team a favor by not "making" them do these tasks.  At the beginning of 2011, I was going to be out of town when these needed to be done so I had no choice but to hand them off.  I had taught my team how to do them before but never completely handed them off.  It went well that month.  In February, I chose to "allow" them to do it again.  Same thing in March.  The funny thing is that about half way through the year, our results were better than ever before and these simple tasks were part of those results.  Is it possible that finally letting go of those tasks allowed my team to reach its full potential?  When people ask how we have had those results this year, that is the most important thing I did.  We had tools which we had before.  It was the same people.  I just let go.  

The sad thing is that I didn't just learn this lesson.  I have learned it so many times.  There is always something that I want to keep a hold on beyond the time that I should let it go.  Over and over again, though, I learn that when I let go better results occur.                 

Oh, and Reece came up to me after riding for a while and said, "Daddy, I didn't even fall".  The key was that she was willing to fall (fail) and that was what allowed her to succeed.  A few months ago Hilda, one of my leaders at the store, asked me, "What would you do today if you knew you couldn't fail".  What are you not accomplishing because you are afraid to fail?       



                                 



TRUST

As part of my interviews for prospective employees, I ask them to come with 10 questions that they will ask me.  Yesterday, I was asked a fairly common question.  "If I am hired, what will be expected of me?"  Before I answered I asked what she thought.  She responded with many expectations such as hard working, friendly, reliable, good attitude, willing to do whatever is needed, etc.  Those are all great but there is one that she left out.  I told her she could do all those things but if we couldn't TRUST her, it wouldn't work out here.  Trust is crucial.

Last week, I had the opportunity to talk with the youth group at a local church.  I was asked, "what is something God is teaching me?"  On my bedroom wall is a picture with Proverbs 3:5-6 on it.  "Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding.  In all your ways acknowledge Him and He will keep your path straight".  That is easy to say, but often hard to do.

In July, we had a direct competitor open on the other end of our parking lot.  I found out about it near the beginning of 2011.  When I first heard the rumors, I was devastated.  All these years of building up our business and here comes a competitor to "get a piece of the pie", as they told us.  What would it do to our business?  Would we drop so much we had to cut employees hours or entire positions?  What would happen to my income?  Could we afford to keep our kids in the school we have them in and really appreciate?  Would I be "unsuccessful" because another business took our customers?  I was in the pits.

As time rolled on and the rumors became reality, I struggled through it.  I asked what is the purpose of this?  Why was God allowing this to happen?  Well, it became clear that I needed to learn to truly trust God.  I had done all the little things.  Coached good customer service, encouraged our team to keep the store clean, keep the food fresh, be efficient.  All the things that make a good restaurant.  But, did I trust God?

I told the applicant that they could do all the little, technical things right but if I couldn't trust them, it was not going to work.

Here I was doing all the little things right (well, many of them), running a restaurant that customers enjoyed, but I wasn't trusting God.  It won't work out unless I am trusting Him.  In fact, I can mess up alot of the little things, but if my faith is strong and I truly trust Him, He will "make my path straight". 
                      

Generational Learning

Edmund Burke (1729-1797) said, "Those who don't know history are destined to repeat it."  I think you could also say, "Those who do know history can build upon it".  You can take the things that have worked over time and add to them.  

Between my reading and listening to individuals that come from previous generations, I have observed a few things that I think we can apply and build on. 

From my grandparent's generation, we often hear stories about hard work, commitment, loyalty, and the attitude of "just get it done".  The stories come from the Great Depression, WWII and the early post WWII years.  They were the "Greatest Generation".  They worked hard, they worked long hours.  They did what it took to get the results they wanted.  They didn't have much but they made the best of what they had.  If it meant working more than 40 hours per week or having 2 jobs, that is what they did and it was not considered exceptional to make that commitment.  Could those lessons still apply today?  

From my parent's generation, "The Baby Boomers", I have picked up on the importance of quality.  TQM (Total Quality Management) was the thing to learn in management courses.  Japanese car companies took over the automotive industry by doing this.  Detroit lost it's edge by cutting costs and not responding with quality products soon enough.  They are still playing catch-up.  

My business classes in college were all about quality and management to get quality.  That was until now.

This generation talks about influence.  Developing people.  True Leadership.  Sure, this has been happening all along, just like quality has always been good.  But, it seems that the focus in this generation is on the people more than the product.  At least with the growth minded organizations. 

Does that mean we should forget hard work?  What about quality?

What if we combine hard work, a commitment to quality AND the passion for influence?  I think it is safe to say that many in today's generation have forgotten some of the lessons from previous generations.  They may want to have an influence but have forgotten how to work hard or commit.  They may have a commitment to quality but not a passion for developing others.  They may have a good work ethic but not a commitment to quality.  What if we work on bringing the past and the present learnings together?  The true leaders of today do just this.  They are commited to doing whatever it takes, with a commitment to quality and a passion for developing others (influence).      

"Those that know their history and apply it will build on each generation's strengths and add their own."  

Fair Learnings

This past week, we took the family to the NC State Fair.  I think this was our 4th time but I still haven't figured out the layout exactly.  I have a general idea of what direction I want to go, but at times I feel like I am in a maze and not exactly sure where I am.

At the store, we are talking about vision statements.  These are "paintings" of what we would like our business to look like in the future.  Kaylyn and I are working on the same thing for our family.  If we don't know what we are working towards, it will be pretty tough to get there.  We often talk about goals and dreams.  Where we want to be 6 months from now, 1 year or 10 years from now.

At the fair I was reminded that another crucial part of the equation is KNOWING where you ARE.  You may have a vision but do you have accurate knowledge of where you are now?  We were trying to hook up with some friends and part of that conversation consisted of explaining where each of us were at the time.  That was really important.  Or, when we wanted to find the Sky Diver or the Ferris Wheel, knowing where we were was a critical piece of information.  If we thought we were one place when we were actually at another, we would go the wrong way to find our destination.  We would ultimately find our way but if we didn't have an accurate idea of our location it took more time making some wrong turns than if we had known where we were to begin with.

As our family and my business works on where we want to go, we need to ensure we know where we are right now.  Not just think we know, but ensure we have an accurate understanding of where we are now.

Super Heroes and Their Sidekicks

I will be talking with 2 groups this month and one common question is, "who were/are your heroes?"

Here are the definitions I found for "Hero". 
1) a. A mythological or legendary figure often of divine descent endowed with great strength or ability. 
b. An illustrious warrior.
c. A man admired for his achievements and noble qualities
2) a. The principle male character in a literary or dramatic work
b. The central figure in an event, period or movement
3) Submarine
4) An object of extreme admiration and devotion

Synonyms are god, idol and icon.

When I think of my heroes I think the synonym, icon, is the most appropriate.  Icon's first definition is "a usually pictorial representation".  When I think of heroes, I think of people that represent a certain quality or ability that I admire. 

The first three people that come to mind are my Dad, my Mom and my Pastor when I was growing up.  They were my primary role models during my early development.  They influenced me in multiple areas of my life.  My faith in God, my work ethic, my morals, my athletic development, my values, my hobbies, etc.  My Dad, My Mom and my pastor helped me build a foundation as a young person that would allow others to add their influence to my life.  My parents and my pastor are my Super Heroes.

As with any good Super Hero story, there are also sidekicks that support the efforts of the Super Heroes.  I think we often overlook these people in our lives.  Many people can identify a single hero and it is often a parent or teacher or coach.  What about the sidekicks?  What about the other people that have influenced you and molded you along your way?

I think for many of us, it is these sidekicks that really help us in specific ways and help determine how successful we will be in our different endeavours.  Whether it is in marriage, parenting, business, sports, or any other aspect of our lives.  We probably would be OK without any single one of them, but collectively, their influence on us is indispensable.

For many of us, we don't choose our Super Heroes.  But, the sidekicks are often chosen by our actions.  Who we choose to be friends with.  Who we choose to work with.  Who we choose to have lunch with.  Who we choose to have as a roommate in college.  Who we choose to marry.  Who we choose to call on the phone today.  Who we choose to introduce ourselves to this afternoon.  Who we go to the movies with Friday night.

I can't remember the source of this quote but I believe it to be true.  "What we are reading and who we surround ourselves with today determines where we will be 5 years from now."

Pick your sidekicks wisely.                          

Motivation for Running

When I registered to run the marathon back in 2006, I got a free 4 month subscription to Runner's World magazine.  Kaylyn and I still get it and read it today.  It is very motivational, whether you are wanting to run your first 5K or 10th marathon.  You can read stuff on the website for free or get a subscription for a year for as little as $1 per issue ($12 per year).  It is well worth it.  To see their site, just click on the title of this post.     

Why Exercise? (Part 3)

Some people aren't as focused on the long term future and want to focus more on enjoying the present or short term future.  I think it is good to balance immediate, middle and long term planning.  So, how does exercise benefit me today, tomorrow or next month?

On an ideal day, I like to exercise first thing in the morning for various reasons.  Most of the year, it is more comfortable outside in the morning if I am running and it ensures that I will get my exercise in that day.  Sometimes, my days don't go as planned and I run out of time and miss my exercise time.  But, there are other reasons I like to run in the morning.  It helps me get going.  It gets my energy level up so I can start my day strong.  If I am running, it provides me 30-45 minutes of peaceful, quiet, alone time to think, talk to God and listen to God.  That is a great way to start the day.  Plus, I feel good the rest of the day when I exercise first thing.

On a bad day, when everything seems to be going wrong, running at the end of the day is helpful.  It helps me recover from the day.  There have been days that I have exercised at both ends of the day for this reason.

When I was a teenager, and out of shape, we often went to Six Flags in Atlanta.  This is a great amusement park with roller coasters and other fun rides.  We would go all day and often stand in long lines.  My memory is that I would always be worn out and my back would be aching by mid to late afternoon and we usually would stay till it closed around 9 or 10 PM.

2 years ago, we took the family to Disney World for a week.  We got to the gates at opening time and didn't leave till closing time every day.  That was about 9 AM till 9 PM each day.  Since I am cheap, we carried in lots of snacks and water and it was cool with chances of rain so we had layers of clothing to keep up with.  We were either pushing a stroller with junk in it or carrying the junk in a backpack while pushing the stroller with Reece in it all day.  I never had back pain.  I felt great all day, all week.  In fact, I got up to run a few days that week prior to going to the parks.

The year after the marathon, we went to DC with Regan and Riley (Reece stayed with family) for a long weekend.  Lots of walking and carrying kids and stuff.  No pain.  No fatigue.

It is nice to be able to outlast your kids on vacations.  It is nice to not be worn out before the end of a fun day.  It is nice to be able to go on to the next fun thing without needing a rest break.

Why Exercise?  Because it helps me start my day, finish my day, enjoy fun days, endure bad days, keep up with my kids, and hopefully keep up with my grandkids and great grandkids some day.  It helps me be a better me.  

                          

Why Exercise? (Part 2)

After running the marathon in 2006, I was trying to think of what to do next.  I didn't come up with another big physical test.  What happened is that I started to see a connection between my exercising and my position as owner of a business.  I was in a position of influence.  But, what kind of influence?  Where did exercise fit in?  I had been preaching the value of reading for years.  But, what about exercise?  Was it important?  Was it as important as reading?  Why Exercise?

In 2007, we had the opportunity to get a piano for free.  I like free.  I wanted to move it myself to save money and because the person needed it moved quickly.  The piano ended up in my house just fine and I ended up having surgery a few months later as a result. 

While hooked up to all the stuff in pre-op the surgeon comes by and comments that I must run because my heart rate was so low.  I told him yes and we talked about exercise and fitness.  He said, "your fitness is going to make my job and your recovery easier."  That is what you want to hear from the person that is going to be cutting you open.  I suspect I will have a few more surgeries in my life and I want the doctors to say the same thing every time.  I know I was able to be back out running within 2 weeks of my surgery and able to be back to normal activities in half the time they originally said.

Similar to this lesson, I was talking to a friend (My Marine Corp Marathon training partner) about fitness and aging.  We were talking about the value of being fit as we get older, really older.  There will come a point in our lives that our bodies will start naturally deteriorating.  Sometimes, I think I may already be there.  The example he gave was that for somebody that has simply gone from the sofa to the frig for exercise, that is the best fitness they will have and it will deteriorate from there.  It won't take long before they can't get off the sofa without help.

For somebody that has been running 3-5 miles regularly, or swimming, or biking, or walking, it will take a lot longer to deteriorate to the level that going from the sofa to the frig is a challenge.  My dad's dad is my example of this.  He has had several surgeries including hip replacements but is still very active.  This past summer, we were up there and have pictures of him playing ball with our girls and giving them horsey rides on his knees.  That is their Great-Grandfather doing that with them.  A few years ago, I remember seeing him jogging, not walking, down his driveway to fix his mailbox and this was just a few months after one of his hip surgeries.  That is what I want to be like when I am 80+ years old.                  

So, why exercise?  One reason is so I will be able to enjoy life in the future.  If I wait till then to start, it may be too late or, at best, it will be tougher to get back into shape.  It's like investing in a retirement account.  The earlier you start, the easier it is to grow and maintain.  The later you start the more difficult it will be and at some point, it becomes too late.           




      

Why Exercise? (Part 1)

Up until my junior year of high school I avoided exercise pretty much at all cost, but it was toward the end of that year that my baseball coach told me that if I wanted to play college baseball I needed to drop some pounds.  I was a 5'11" 200 lbs shortstop and very little of that 200 lbs was muscle.  I guess that got my attention.  I lost 40 lbs between my junior and senior year.  Simply eating less and working up to running one mile a day.  I had just injured my knee and couldn't run at first so I started jogging in place on one of those little exercise trampolines.  That is how it all started, I felt great, not just physically but mentally as well.  It gave me confidence that I could do what I set my mind to.

That one mile turned to 2 in college.  I even ran the Peachtree Road Race, a 10k, while in college to keep up with my girlfriend (future wife).  After a family reunion, my wife's, I decided to up my runs to 3 miles because there were too many people older than me running farther and faster than me.  I was going to be in better shape for the next reunion. 

In 2006, the idea of a marathon popped up.  I had entertained that idea before but quickly let it go because it was a "crazy" idea.  26.2 miles!?!?!  But, in 2006 I heard Dan Cathy talk about his marathon experience and then a friend said he was thinking about one.  So, that spring I signed up for the Marine Corp Marathon in DC.  The training was brutal.  Many aches and pains.  But also many memories, the beautiful sunrises over foggy fields along NC 10 (The background of this blog reminds me of those mornings), running to my store from home, eating at Q-Shack after a 23 mile training run.  That was some awesome BBQ.  Then came the marathon.  I hadn't had "pregame butterflies" like that since playing baseball in college.  Unfortunately, being a novice marathoner, I let those butterflies make me fly the first 6-8 miles.  I couldn't slow down.  It came back to hurt me around mile 15 or 16.  I was hurting and had to stop and walk frequently the rest of the race.  But, eventually, I got to that last mile.  I was going to finish it running.  The last .1 or .2 was up a steep hill.  I remember looking down at my legs as I was going up that hill.  I was facinated with my calf muscles because they were cramping every step up that hill and it looked really funny.  It even felt "funny".  The feeling crossing that finish line is impossible to describe.  I had just completed a marathon.  Sure, I walked some but that was because of foolishness at the beginning not fitness.  I had run 23-24 miles in training so I knew I was fit.  The only goal that day was to finish and I had.

The theme that CFA uses for exercise is "Fit to Lead".  From my senior year of high school till that marathon I think exercise was simply to help keep the weight off, sometimes more effectively than others.  In 2006, exercise took on more meaning.  I realized I needed to be "Fit to Lead".                

Rusty Tool in a Master's Hands

Here is another learning from a run at the beach this past summer.  One morning Regan was supposed to run with me at the beginning and I would run further after she finished.  I went to get her and she was stalling, not wanting to run but after much proding she finally went out with me.  Let's just say it wasn't the smoothest 1 mile jog.  Lot's of walking and complaining.  When she was done I continued and eventually met up with Kaylyn who was finishing her longer run.  She wasn't exactly having a great morning either and wasn't eager to have a running partner.  But, I joined her heading back toward the house.  Since I hadn't gotten much mileage yet I continued past our house and decided to take one of the side streets that I don't normally take.  I passed an older woman walking a couple dogs along the way.  It was a dead end road and I started my way back and this time I saw the lady lying in a grassy area beside the road with the dogs.  At first I thought she was just relaxing with the dogs but as I got closer she yelled to me, asking for help.  It turns out the dogs had caught her off balance and she had fallen and could not get up on her own.  Once I had helped her up, she was able to continue walking and insisted she was fine so I continued my run.  I decided to go back to the main road and head up a little farther and then come back to check on her.  By the time I got back a few minutes later, she was gone.  I also noticed that where she had fallen was not very close to the main road. 

I realized that all the delays I had endured that morning and my need for variety on my runs had put me in the right place to help this woman.  Who knows how long she would have been stuck there.  People on the main road wouldn't notice her and it was too far to yell.  God had used our imperfections to put me where he wanted me to help her.  If the morning had gone smoother, as I was hoping, I would have probably passed the woman coming back before she had fallen.     

That's a good reminder that God uses us, rusty tools, to carry out His will.  He doesn't need us to be perfect.  He is greater than we can imagine and can overcome all our imperfections.  That sure is comforting.               

Live.Love.Lead.

Planning for Planning

For the first time in my life I have been commited to having planning days once a month.  I started this about 4 months ago and have been pretty good at making sure that day happens.  What I found, though, was that I had trouble using that day wisely.  I had to learn how to plan.  Does it mean learning, reading, filling things in on my calendar, reviewing results, meeting with others?  I knew that if I stuck with it and tried different things, I would figure it out.

Yesterday was my most recent planning day and I tried something new.  I actually planned for my planning day.  Not just by keeping that day clear on my calendar.  I actually filled up my day with things I wanted to get done and had them in time slots.  I had a meeting with a friend to discuss service and leadership.  I had calendar updates.  I had learning.  I even had lunch with Kaylyn.  I was a little concerned when I got behind first thing in the AM with my breakfast meeting but it was worth it.  I was able to catch back up before lunch, though.  I even was able to get a little ahead before meeting Kaylyn for a nice relaxing and tasty lunch. 

It was right after lunch that I really saw the benefits of planning.  On the way home from lunch, Kaylyn called because the window on her van stopped working and was stuck down.  So, I spent about 30-45 minutes getting her van to a shop to get it repaired.  While this wasn't in my plan, I had put the actions that were most important first in my day so the afternoon was filled with "optional" stuff that I knew I could get caught up on if I didn't do it right then.  This became even more important because I got a call from a friend that needed some help and I was able to help without neglecting anything important in my "planning" day.  As it turned out, I got 1 of the 3 things done that I had planned for that afternoon.  But, I got all the stuff done that I had planned in the AM (the important stuff). 

If I had not planned for my planning day, I know I would have wasted time in the AM figuring out what to do and then when my plans got off track in the afternoon, I would have not gotten some important stuff done.

I certainly had a few wrenches thrown into my planning day, and a few into my van, but because I actually planned, it didn't hurt as much.  I recently read a statement about how some of the great football coaches viewed planning and prep.  It was the single most important thing they did according to them.  Their success was directly related to their planning and preparation. 

I like the quote, "If you fail to plan, you plan to fail."  It's that simple.  It's also that convicting.                            

A Run at the Beach

This year, from March till early August I was unable to run anything more than 1 mile due to an IT Band issue on my right knee.  In place of running, I did the Insanity workout series which I really enjoyed.  But, one thing that running offers that most other workout programs don't is time to think.  When I run, I am by myself (usually) and out in God's creation.  Sometimes that is just in the neighborhood and sometimes it is in more scenic places.  Sometimes when I am running, I am able to work through some challenges/opportunities I am in the middle of.  Other times, I am able to just listen.  It is during these times that I find that I "hear" some messages that God wants to teach me or remind me of.

One of my favorite times to run is while on vacation.  Many people think I am crazy because that is when they least want to run.  I have a few reasons for really liking to run at these times.  1)  I like to eat more on vacation so the running helps me not put on alot more weight although sometimes I still eat more than I run.  2)  I like to see the new scenery.  I love seeing new stuff and I can run farther when I don't know what is around the corner or just down the street.  3)  I like to scope out the places that I want to go see at a more relaxed pace later in the day or week.

I didn't get to run when we went to NY this year which was a bummer because we spent a couple days in Niagara Falls and that would have been a great place to run with the view of the falls.  I wonder if I could have run from one side to the other?  I haven't ever run from one country to another.

A week or so before we went to the beach I decided to give my knee another chance at running. I made it my normal distance without any pain.  So, then I added a few miles and still no pain.  Great!

At the beach I ran most of the days we were there.  Since it is flat (and because my wife was running some long distances), I decided to see what I could do after not running for about 5-6 months.  Kaylyn told me she needed to do 6 or 7 miles according to her 1/2 marathon training schedule.  So, that became my target.  I intended to do at least 5 but was hoping to do 6.  It was an out and back run so you really commit to the distance half way through it unless you want to do a good bit of walking, which I didn't.

That morning I headed out for the causeway which was just over 3 miles away.  As I said above, I like looking at stuff while I run.  That includes the path in front of me.  As I was running, saw a penny on the sidewalk.  As my friends would expect, I stopped to pick it up.  I had just burnt calories and made money!  Years ago I either read or heard somebody talking about how they are reminded what is printed on our coins each time they find one.  In God We Trust.  Up to this point in the run, I had been in the mode of worrying about some challenges in life.  So, seeing the penny really helped me refocus.  This doesn't just happen like flipping a switch.  It is intentional and slow at times.  Instead of being challenges or problems, I try to see them as opportunities.  Opportunities to grow and learn.    
      

Back to running, now with a penny in my hand.  As I was crossing a side street I saw a small wrench.  I didn't pick it up because I didn't want to carry it for 4+ miles.  But, I did take note of what intersection it was at so I could pick it up on the way back.  

At this point I have been able to get my thinking more productive and open to learning vs. just worrying. 

As I am approaching the end of run out to the causeway and the half way mile point, I see another penny.  Of course, I stop to pick it up.  Now I have 2 pennies and a wrench waiting for me a couple miles ahead.  So, I am thinking about these items and working on listening.  I have been reminded twice now about "In God We Trust".  Did I trully believe it?  Could I really say, "In God I trust"?  I was working on it.

I hit the end of the first half of my run (3.1 miles by the way) so I turn around and start heading back.  I am focused on finding that wrench and wrestling with "In God I Trust".  Amazingly, I had already forgotten exactly where that wrench was.  I remembered the street name but forgot the landmarks.  This is important because as I am running and thinking and listening, I sometimes get so lost in thought that I forget my surroundings.  This is nice because I also forget any discomfort of running or wishing I was closer to the finish.  But, all of the sudden I had realized that I had passed some side streets without paying attention to their names.  And since I couldn't remember any landmarks I began to be worried I had passed the street already.  Should I go back and check?  If I did, I would add even more mileage and I was already pushing my distance to a point that was probably not the wisest since I hadn't trained much and my knee was still having to get used to the longer distance.  I decided to keep going in the hope that the wrench was still ahead.  Sure enough, I come to the street but I can't remember exactly where it was at the intersection.  I knew it was in the grassy sand area, not on the sidewalk or road.  I took a few minutes looking for it but I eventually found it.              

I still have at least a mile to go, probably closer to 2 and I have more time to think and listen.  The pennies and wrench are getting some of my attention but I am still concentrating on what I can be learning from the opportunities I had been worrying about and "In God I Trust".  I realized that I had some good visual tools in my hands.

Sometimes it feels like God throws a "wrench" in my plans but if I listen He will share his "two cents" with me.  "Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding.  In all your ways acknowledge Him and he will make your paths straight", are two of my favorite verses.  My Mom made me a picture with that verse on it and it is up in my bedroom  Proverbs 3:5-6 is so reassuring but it is also so hard to apply at times.  So often I want to be in control.  So often I want my plans to be kept.  So often I know what is right for me.  I don't really want to be in control.  I know God knows what is best for me.  But, I get distracted and pride sneeks in.

I got back to the house we were staying at.  I had completed about 6.2 miles which was what I was hoping to do but I was still feeling pretty good, and I knew Kaylyn was going to run 7 the next day, so I figured I was so close I might as well keep going.  I did about 1 more mile so I ended up just over 7 miles.  On that last mile I found one more penny.  I consider that my reward for "going the extra mile". 

So, when it feels like God throws a wrench in my plans, I need to stop and listen to His "two cents" and if I do listen and apply what I hear, He will "make my path straight".


As a footnote to this entry, I had a few wrenches thrown in my plans as I was writing this.  It took about 6 days to get this one entry done but in that time I was able to think about it more and really understand what it means.  

The Bench

Recently, Kaylyn called me to say that a neighbor had some yard furniture at the end of their driveway for anybody to take for free.  I like FREE so I piled the kids into the truck and drove down the street.  This bench was one of the two items they had.  At first glance, I wasn't too interested.  The wood that makes up the seat was rotting and had bird junk all over it.  Nobody would want to sit on it.  But, I looked closer and the metal was in good shape and very heavy duty (sturdy).  I looked underneath and saw it would be easy to take wood slats out.  I was hoping I could sand all the existing wood but saw that replacing a few slats was certainly an option.  So, I took it.

I tried sanding the wood.  Sanding worked well on the wood that made up the back of the bench but the seat pieces were rotting and needed to be replaced.  I was able to get replacement pieces for under $5.  It took about an hour to cut and sand some wood to fit it.  I sealed it with some sealer I had in the garage.  So, for about $5 and an hour or so of work, I now have a perfectly good bench for the back yard.  I have been looking at benches like this at stores for over a year but wasn't willing to pay $100+ for one.  Now I have one.

So, what is the lesson?

Sometimes when we are leading a team or creating a team we look for the perfect person to do the job.  The perfect bench was a sturdy bench with a nice decorative metal frame and wooden slats and cost less than $50.  The "perfect person" is often not available just like my "perfect bench" wasn't available.  Sometimes we are better off taking the best we can find and working with them to develop into what the organization needs.  A person with a good foundation but with some rough edges or some rot may just need to be encouraged, given a few new tools and allowed to show us what they can do.  Our perfect bench may be right in front of us disguised as a rotten old bench.  Our perfect person for the job may be right in front of us disguised as a bored, complacent team member that just needs us to find that strong frame and willingness to invest a little time and care in them.

               

Reason for Blogging

I am learning about blogging primarily to log lessons I learn.  These may be life lessons, reading, listening, thoughts while running, lessons learned from my wife and my girls, from customers, from my team, or any other learning opportunity.  If anybody happens to read this and has any recommendations for how this is organized or presented, please let me know.  Just looking for the best way to organize learning so it can be referenced in future by myself, my family or others.

Book List

Top 10

Mindset by Carol Dweck
The Servant by James Hunter
21 Irrefutable Laws of Leadership by John Maxwell
Setting the Table by Danny Meyer (fairly specific to restaurants or customer service)
The Wealthy Barber by David Chilton
Team of Rivals by Doris Kearns Goodwin
The Advantage by Patrick Lencioni
The 5 Dysfunctions of a Team by Patrick Lencioni
Grit by Angela Duckworth
The Speed of Trust by Stephen M R Covey

Albom, Mitch 

• The 5 People You Meet in Heaven

Andrews, Andy 

• The Travelers Gift

Blanchard, Ken

• Leadership and the One Minute Manager
• The Secret

Buckingham, Marcus

• First, Break all the Rules

Burkett, Larry

• Business by the Book
• The Complete Financial Guide for Young Couples
• Whatever Happened to the American Dream

Carnegie, Dale

• How to Stop Worrying and Start Living

Cathy, S. Truett

• Eat Mor Chikin, Inspire More People
• How Did You Do It Truett?
• It is Easier to Build Boys Than Mend Men                      
• It is Easier to Succeed that to Fail
• Wealth, Is it Worth It?

Cloud, Henry

• Integrity
• Boundaries
• Necessary Endings

Collins, Jim

• Good to Great
• How the Mighty Fall

Connellan, Tom

• Inside the Magic Kingdom

Covey, Stephen

• The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People

DePree, Max

• Leadership is an Art

Dobson, James

• Life on the Edge
• The Strong Willed Child

Farrar, Steve

• Finishing Strong

Gibbs, Joe

• Racing to Win

Giuliani, Rudolph

• Leadership

Gladwell, Malcolm 

• Blink, The Power of Thinking Without Thinking
• Outliers
• The Tipping Point

Gray, John

• Men are From Mars, Women are From Venus

Hendricks, Howard

• The 7 Laws of the Leader

Hybels, Bill

• Too Busy Not to Pray

Kimmel, Tim

• Basic Training for a Few Good Men

Krzyzewski, Mike

• Leading with the Heart

Lencioni, Patrick

• The 5 Disfunctions of a Team

Levitt, Steven and Stephen Dubner

• Freakonomics

Lewis, C.S.

• Mere Christianity
• Miracles
• Screwtape Letters
• Great Divorce
• A Grief Observed

Lucado, Max

• 3:16

MacDonald, Gordon

• The Effective Father

Maxwell, John

• Becoming a Person of Influence
• Developing the Leaders Around You
• Failing Forward
• Leadership Gold
• The Success Journey
• Today Matters
• The Winning Attitude

McCullough, David

• Truman
• John Adams 

Miller, John

• The Heart of a Servant Leader

Mitchell, John

• The Christian in Business

Moorley, Patrick

• The Man in the Mirror  (great devotional for men)

Morris, Edmund

• Dutch, A Memoir of Ronald Reagan
• The Rise of Theodore Roosevelt
• Theodore Rex

Newberry, Tommy

• The 4:8 Principle

Omartian, Stormie

• The Power of a Praying Husband

Ortberg, John

• The Life you Always Wanted

Pausch, Randy

• The Last Lecture       

Peters, Tom and Nancy Austin

• A Passion for Excellence

Phillips, Donald

• The Founding Fathers on Leadership

Ramsey, Dave

• The Total Money Makeover  (sound financial advice)

Runkel, Hal

• Screamfree Parenting

Sanborn, Mark

• The Fred Factor

Sewell, Carl

• Customers For Life

Smalley, Gary

• Secrets to Lasting Love

Sowell, Thomas

• Basic Economics

Sproul, R.C.

• The Holiness of God

Stanley, Andy

• Next Generation Leader

Stanley, Charles

• Success God’s Way

Stanley, Thomas J. & William Danko

• Millionaire Next Door (Good financial book)

Strobel, Lee

• The Case for Christ

Swindoll, Charles

• The Greatest Life of All, Jesus

Warren, Rick

• The Purpose Driven Life